Superheroes. Don't you just hate them? Goody-two-shoes, namby-pamby do-gooders the lot of them. Chiselled of jawline, rippling of 6-pack, and shiny white of teeth, they really do grind you down, right? And as for the superheroines - ridiculously hot women you don't stand a chance with, the lot of 'em. Someone needs to take them all down a peg or two.
And while we're about it, isn't the world badly run today? Not enough people trampled under the jackboot of evil, despite some notable efforts? Too much effort expended on trying to save the Madagascan Rainforest, and not enough spent building volcano fortress lairs and laser death rays? People not giving you the respect you deserve?
What if there were a way I could do something about both of these problems? A way that I could rise up, overthrow the system, stamp my mark on the world for good, get a really cool nickname, and as a bonus side-effect, increase my chances with the ladies?
Well, I could always try running for president, but that doesn't do much in the "cool nickname" stakes. I could just forget about it, get a nine-to-five job and just piss my boss off by doing as little as humanly possible while not getting sacked, but I have grander dreams, don’t I?
In short – I’m an ideal super villain.
Ah yes, the traditional evil genius - mega rich, all alone in my fabulous evil genius mansion, or giant robotic spider installation somewhere in Antarctica, sitting on my throne like chair, plotting world domination usually followed by world destruction, mooowaaahhhhaaahaaa, stroking my cat...
My objective is simple: World domination
My motive is a little bit more complex: Evil
To begin my plan, I must first assassinate a ‘chosen one’. This will cause the world to sit up and take notice, stunned by my arrival. Who is this evil genius straight out of Hell? Where did he come from? And why does he look so good in a super villain costume?
Next, I will destroy New York. This will cause countless hordes of Minions to flock to me, begging to do my every bidding. My name will become synonymous with evil, as lesser men whisper my name in terror.
Finally, I will unleash my doomsday device, bringing about the end of all things. This will all be done from my secret underground headquarters of doom, an excellent choice if I might say.
These three deeds will herald the end, and the citizens of this planet will have no choice but to elect me their new emperor.
Trust me, it'll all come together in the end.
Being a scientist is hard work, but unfortunately, being a mad scientist is even harder. There are so many additional dangers, and you can rarely even recognize them, because, you know, you’re mad and all... Due to this “small” setback, I’m still in phase zero of my world domination plan: equipping my secret liar with the ideal doomsday devices.
I’ve already built the following contraptions so far...
4 years ago
We all know that, as lightning heats up the air, it creates a pressure pulse which we all recognize as thunder. If we modulate the frequency of the lightning to an audible range the result is a plasma that "sings" at the frequencies we supply it with... a plasma speaker!
Solid fuel rocket
3 years ago
Many hobby stores sell model rocketry supplies, but I think making your own rocket engine from scratch is a more meaningful and exciting experience. In this project, I've combined two commonly available substances — granulated sugar and potassium nitrate — to make a powerful engine that can propel a relatively "small" rocket to impressive heights. This method involves melting a mixture of sugary fuel and chemical oxidizer (the potassium nitrate) over an electric hot plate and then pouring it into a paper rocket body where it solidifies into a rock-hard casting containing an incredible amount of chemical energy.
2 years ago
A few years ago, due to my passion for skiing and snow, I had an idea to build what is a common sight at ski resorts: the "snow cannon". The idea of being able to make snow at home when mother nature is not cooperating was so compelling it became an obsession. At that time the internet had very little informatin to offer on the subject and books with details on constructing snowmakers simply did not exist. I worked with what I knew, copressed air, water and freezing tempeatures somehow equaled snow.
1 years ago
Maniacal laugh? Check. White lab coat? Check. Dastardly plot to control the world? Check. Only one thing left to do before I become the official mad scientist of my workplace: outfit my cubicle with a Tesla coil. Flip on the device and it’ll snap, crackle, and dispense zaptastic 1,000,000-volt sparks of electricity. Similar devices were used a century ago to transmit radio signals, but ever since a Tesla appeared as a lab prop in the original Frankenstein, it has sent a very different message: The owner is a deranged genius you should not mess with. Even if you’re not stitching together cadavers in a vain effort to become godlike, the coil can strike fear in the hearts of the coworkers — it doles out painful shocks, and one stray bolt can instantly fry a laptop hard drive. Mwa-ha-ha! Fear the wrath of the electromagnetism I have unleashed, puny mortals!
Something with nuclear fusion...
The project that I'm currently working on...